This and That

Not much new 'round the home front.

It's Saturday morning. J's playing in a golf tournament this morning. We are supposed to have a house showing between 10-12, and an open house between 1-4. So it's 10:47, I've got the house pretty much ready (although I need to dust, thinking I might wait to do that between the showing and the open house... don't want to have Pledge in my hand as the realtor knocks...) and E is watching cartoons. E and I are doing to keep our friends' daughter who is 6 months old this afternoon. It worked out well because it gives E and I a place to go during the open house. Now, to see if we get him down for a nap.... that will be a whole different story. I don't know if the baby will let me put her somewhere long enough to get E to lay down in a strange place to sleep. Oh well... if he's cranky and tired later today due to no nap, so be it.

Latest forecasts on chinaadoptionforecast.com says we won't get our referral until February 2009. sigh. This is the longest wait in the history of the world, I think. Although our heart is in a daughter from China at this point.... I still can't help but remember my preference to do a domestic adoption for our 2nd child, and go to China for our third and final. My thoughts were if we do China 2nd, and still want a third child who is an infant/ domestic, our chances are a lot smaller to be chosen as a family with 2 children already. So do domestic, then China. And even with a long wait domestically, I still think we could have gotten a baby well before our China referral will arrive. Now, I have a fear, (that I haven't even expressed to J) that we will wait until 2009 for a referral, and we won't ever have the chance to do another infant adoption because we'll already have 2 kids, and we'll be older, with older kids.. all the things that seem less attractive to birth moms. I hate for the size of our family to be determined by such things... doesn't seem fair when everyone we knows makes the decision based on what they want, what they can afford to bring up, etc. Of course, I know as I say that, that we are blessed to be able to adopt at all, and adopt a second child. I know there are infertile people out there, who can't afford to adopt the first time. It's just that this whole unnatural aspect to family planning brings up some of infertility pain again. I am so thrilled and excited about our daughter... But if she is our last, it makes me sad to think I won't be able to ever experience that whole newborn stage again. It was such a blessing to get E at 26 days old, but it's hard to think that will be my only experience of having those precious early days with my babies. At this point, if we want to do another adoption, it looks like it might have to be international adoption. Of course, I'm probably limiting God's power in all this. He could have us get miraculously pregnant, or have a baby fall in our lap through word of mouth, or have a birthmother choose us through an agency. I will continue to work on my patience. (since I don't have a choice!!)

On another note, this past week, I started making phone calls about finding an online program for getting certified as a media specialist. (AKA school librarian) Definitely a less stressful option than teaching special ed for when and if I go back to work in a few years when the kids are in school. I gotta do some classes or something to keep my certificate valid anyway, so I might as well put that effort towards getting into a field I would enjoy. I loved many things about special ed, including the kids and the relationships you got to build with them, but I dread IEPs, the paperwork and endless documentation, and meeting with parents so much.... I would dread them for weeks. I always was waiting for the shoe to drop in those meetings and for them to rail me for something I messed up unknowingly or something. Or for them to ask a question I should know the answer to with a master's degree in special education, and I wouldn't know, making me look inept in front of the administration. I don't know if it ever happened in 8 years of teaching, but it was just stressful for me. Doesn't suit the more introverted, "I want everyone to think I did a good job" part of me. It seemed too much of my job was spent doing things other than working with kids. Ironic, I guess, if I do a school librarian's job because you have even less contact in some ways, but I love literature and books. And I have since I learned to read. And it seems less stressful and no paperwork to do at night.

OK, I'm rambling. 11:15 and the realtor that was supposed to come between 10-12 hasn't shown up yet. She was supposed to be showing lots of houses today, and when they do that, lots of times they run out of time, and end up not making it to all the houses. Oops. She literally just called.

Later, gator.