Entertaining

Better this week,

OK, much better this week.

We had a good ending to last week, J and I got some things worked out, and things seem much brighter. I'm not so crabby.

We're going this morning to a church in Berryville to talk about our Africa experience. We were invited by our neighbors, the "K" family. It's a youth function. The kids are fasting for 3o hours for world hunger. Pretty neat, actually. I'm nervous though. I hate public speaking. Can't not give testimony to what God did in Africa though, so I immediately agreed when we were asked, but now I'm kinda dreading it. It was supposed to be at 1o AM this morning, but then they bumped us to 1 PM. More hours to get nervous. Also, that's E's nap time, and we're taking him with us so I pray he's good, quiet, and cooperative...

Jsh and L called last night with another marital dispute. Sigh.... I know it's easier sometimes to see, analyze, and fix other people's problems, but they just seem so set on arguing, proving who's right, and just seem to not have much grace or love with each other. I know we're like that sometimes too, but it just seems like they're really struggling. Of course, if we take a snapshot of any family at a particular time, we can see all kinds of bad things. I do feel like J and I are able to help them though and that feels good. Even if we've had a bad week (like last week) it puts us back on the same team, and refocuses us on the right things too. I have a hard time sometimes in disputes with seeing both sides.... so much so that it's hard for me to mediate, and give advice. But for some reason, God really is speaking through sometimes when I'm talking with L. I feel his presence, and his wisdom coming out of my mouth. I don't say that arrogantly at all, because it's not me.

Anyway, nice to think about something else than the talk we've got to do in a few hours.

Five months and crabby

So we're five months into this very, very, very long wait.

I find myself really cranky the last few weeks, especially with my hubby. Is it related to this interminable wait? Or am I just dwelling on self---- talking it out on him? Whatever it is, I wish I would snap out of it. Cause I don't like myself when I'm like this.

This week was Valentine's Day. On Wed (V-day) we had a steak dinner planned at home. Right as we were about to eat our friends, D and J, called to see if they could come over to heat their dinner and bathe the kids. Their power had gone out because of the snow and ice we also got this week. Oops, forgot to mention that. We got snow and ice this week. No school Wed-Friday, still out there. Temps aren't getting above freezing this entire week. Brr.....

But I digress. Anyway, we didn't exactly have a romantic dinner with all the kids and unexpected company. Therein my point of crabbiness on this particular day. By the next day, I realized how self-centered my attitude was and hated that I felt that way the night before. On Thursday, Feb 15, we went to dinner leaving E with L and K, and their son R. It was a nice dinner, and for the first time this week, we actually had a nice conversation. (My fault, not his)

Anyway, feeling better. I need to follow the philosophy that feelings and actions begin with thoughts. If I choose to think good things about my life, good things about my husband.... therein my emotions will follow. I hate that sometimes I focus on the negative.

I will not allow myself to be cranky again (or for a good long while). It makes me and everyone around me miserable.

Disclaimer: I read over this and it sounds probably worse than it is. :) I haven't thrown anything, yelled, or had any major explosions. I have been short, snippy, and inwardly had a bad, bad attitude. Not pleasant to live with. You know. Woman drama.