in case you're wondering. :)
Of course, good news is that neither has "dream house" in bank foreclosure. They have done a lot of the work on it that needed to be done. That's great, but kinda bad news for us. We were hoping to use the work that needed to be done as negotiation to get it in a price we were comfortable with. Please, God, let our house sell soon. Open house this weekend. I don't know about that.... in 11 1/2 months of being on the market, we've have half a dozen or more open houses. And we've had very low turnout. It doesn't seem worth the hassle. I hate to say that to JH realtor, though, because you never know. That could bring a buyer. She did tell me yesterday about them advertising in the paper, but I didn't see it. I looked in the paper... That's the only big complaint I have with her job... Maybe more advertisements would help. That's the 2nd time they've said there would be an ad and I didn't see one. I try really hard not to point the finger at her too much though. It's easy to blame the realtor when your house doesn't sell for a period of time. It's logical even. But it doesn't mean it's accurate. Doubly awkward when you're friends with the realtor, and on top of that, friends from church.
Our house is well maintained, nice, clean, solid. But unfortunately, after this many months on the market, I'm afraid it's getting pegged as a house that must have something wrong with it.... in people's minds they're thinking there must be something wrong.
I keep telling myself: God's will is more important than a house. So chill out girl.
Oh, and we're 6 months in to our wait for our little girl. Come on home L.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 5, 2007
Our house saga....
OK
I know God's trying to teach me something about patience. Although it's weird, because I've always thought of myself as a pretty patient person. I mean, if DH were to describe me, and other people who know me well, they would say that I'm patient. I was a special education teacher, for pete's sake. You know?
Our home was a little on the small side even before Little Man came into our family. We purged a lot when he came, and we've been able to make it work, although it has been tight. Swings, toys... they all take space. We don't really have room for visitors, and since both sets of parents live 600 miles away, when they come, they come for a week at a time. It's not just bedroom space either. Our living room is tiny, our kitchen is tiny, and we have no storage. And everything is really close together. I don't want to be a pack rat, but every family has to store some things. (Christmas decorations, J's hunting paraphenelia... things for babies that I don't want to re-buy once L comes home) We can't host the home group we lead /teach at our home, even if our normal place cancels at the last minute. I really don't want a bigger home to keep up with the Jones family. It is a practical need. I want to have room for the kids to run and play on the inside when the weather's crappy. I want to be able to have our parents over. (especially the grumpy FIL who needs a little space away from the activity of an active toddler... I can't imagine adding one more to the mix while he's here) We have relatives from GA who want to come visit, (sometimes to visit DC) and since they've never been here, they think it's not a big deal to come with their family of 5 plus a few more grandparents... I'm rambling, but you get the point. I guess I'm defending my thought process of wanting a bigger house. Having spent time in Africa, I do realize that our humble home is an absolute blessing. And I realize it's not humble by most of the world's standards. I have 2 working bathrooms, I have heating and air conditioning, I have a working modern kitchen. We are blessed. And I am thankful. But here's the saga....
Our house has been on the market for 10 months. Even in a slow market, 10 months is a long time. We have had showings. Even in the slowest months of Dec-Feb, we rarely went 2 weeks without showings. We have had several people seriously like it, especially in the last few weeks. Last week, we had a couple come who LOVED it. JH(our realtor) showed it to them, and said she would be very surprised if they didn't make an offer. They were expecting a baby boy, his parents live 2 minutes from here.... they had all the "buyer talk" during the showing. They were renting, so no contingencies... Perfect buyers. Except they called JH a few days later and said they decided to wait a year to buy. I'm not sure why because honestly, the market is so slow that this is a perfect time to get a great deal. Maybe they need to save more money. I don't know. But they didn't buy.
Then a lady came on Thursday. She came back on Saturday morning with her husband. That night, JH called to tell us that the agent called her and was asking tons of questions and that they were going to write an offer. She said it was a good offer (close to or at asking price) and they wanted to close in 30 or 45 days. Her words were "they LOVED the house, would be devastated to possibly lose it, etc etc." She kept asking if we had any other written offers right now, they didn't want to take a chance on losing it. They wanted to "sleep on it" but expected to fax the offer within the next few days. So this morning, I woke up with the anticipation that today or tomorrow would be the day, FINALLY, that we could start moving forward with our own plans. Even talked to JH this morning (because we had yet another showing this morning) and she still sounded optimistic. I got home after driving around to waste time for the showing today (totally different potential buyers), and had an email. It said they "decided not to move forward" with buying the property. WHAT?????? How can you flip-flop that hard in 36 hours? They already had done their lender pre-approval thing, so it wasn't an issue of money/lending.
Now, this week we've had 5 showings in 7 days. Which is awesome. JH says that when a house does not sell, it is usually an issue of not getting enough viewings/showings or the price. It all boils down to one or both of those issues. We obviously have had plenty of showings. We have, therefore, lowered our price. But we've lowered it 35 thousand dollars. In considering the value of our house and the price range it's in, 35K is a lot!! We're not talking about a 500K house that has been lowered 35K..... our house is not that expensive to begin with. We have compromised a lot in that area. Truthfully, it's going to be a pinch for us to pay off all our bills, put money aside for L's adoption, and still buy a house with more room in an area where the average home is probably over half a million. And every agent that comes through says that price isn't the reason it hasn't sold, they think it's priced right. People think it's incredibly charming. Agents say it shows well. The most common reason people don't buy it is because it's too small. Yep, the reason we're selling. Nothing we can do about it. If we could make the house bigger, we might be staying here. We can't add on because of where the septic field is, and the easement for the road around us.
I'm just so beyond frustrated. We made the decision to sell last Valentine's Day. So it's been over a year since we made the decision and started thinking and dreaming about our next home. I feel stuck. It's just the making a decision to move forward with something, and perusing the listings over the last 10 months, looking at possibilities for our family, and being able to do nothing until our house sells. We've seen several things we liked sell while we were waiting. I don't hate our current home. It's home. It's just being stuck in limbo. Ready to move on..... you know?
And secretly, I have been praying the last few weeks. I had heard about the power of praying specifically. So on Valentine's Day came, a year after making the decision to sell before we added another little one to our family, I prayed we would have a contract by March 5. Silly, childish, maybe, I don't know. Today is March 5. After this weekend's hopeful possibility, I was smiling at God's faithfullness, and His goodness in answering me.... just in time. Now, I still praise Him. He is still good. He is still faithful. But I am disappointed. I am sad. i am frustrated. Again.
I also would be remiss not to mention a house that is in the target location we'd like to stay in that would seriously be our dream house. It is bigger than we hoped for in our price range. It has a basement. It has 5 acres. It has a mudroom and laundry room that is incredible. It has seriously challenged bathrooms and kitchen, so that needs to be redone, and lots of other maintenance issues that make it almost in our price range. If this house were fixed up it would be way out of our price range, but because it needs some work, it is just slightly out of our price range. It's a bank repossession. I don't know that we'd get it, and they'd sell it at our price but it's hopeful. We're reasonably handy, my dad is a pro, we could make it awesome. I was awake last night dreaming of the possibilites. When the contract possibility fell through, I admit this house is part of the reason I'm so disappointed.
Between this and our long adoption wait, I know He's trying to teach me patience.
I am also aware that I'm spending too much time thinking about it. Being at home sometimes gives me too much time to think about it. And the Chinese adoption. Hence, my need to blog some of this out.
Oh, and one more disclaimer: About JH, our realtor-- Its seems logical to point the finger in her direction. But I do believe she's done the best she can in this market. She's done some creative things, she has had numerous open houses. She maybe could have spent a little more money on advertising, in my opinion, but she has done some of that too. And with the amount of showings we've had, I don't know if it would have helped anyway. She's frustrated too, and wants it sell so badly. She's a friend, along with our agent, and I know she's be just as thrilled as us if would sell.
Please, God, bring the right buyer to our home. And help me to be more trusting of You in this process.
I know God's trying to teach me something about patience. Although it's weird, because I've always thought of myself as a pretty patient person. I mean, if DH were to describe me, and other people who know me well, they would say that I'm patient. I was a special education teacher, for pete's sake. You know?
Our home was a little on the small side even before Little Man came into our family. We purged a lot when he came, and we've been able to make it work, although it has been tight. Swings, toys... they all take space. We don't really have room for visitors, and since both sets of parents live 600 miles away, when they come, they come for a week at a time. It's not just bedroom space either. Our living room is tiny, our kitchen is tiny, and we have no storage. And everything is really close together. I don't want to be a pack rat, but every family has to store some things. (Christmas decorations, J's hunting paraphenelia... things for babies that I don't want to re-buy once L comes home) We can't host the home group we lead /teach at our home, even if our normal place cancels at the last minute. I really don't want a bigger home to keep up with the Jones family. It is a practical need. I want to have room for the kids to run and play on the inside when the weather's crappy. I want to be able to have our parents over. (especially the grumpy FIL who needs a little space away from the activity of an active toddler... I can't imagine adding one more to the mix while he's here) We have relatives from GA who want to come visit, (sometimes to visit DC) and since they've never been here, they think it's not a big deal to come with their family of 5 plus a few more grandparents... I'm rambling, but you get the point. I guess I'm defending my thought process of wanting a bigger house. Having spent time in Africa, I do realize that our humble home is an absolute blessing. And I realize it's not humble by most of the world's standards. I have 2 working bathrooms, I have heating and air conditioning, I have a working modern kitchen. We are blessed. And I am thankful. But here's the saga....
Our house has been on the market for 10 months. Even in a slow market, 10 months is a long time. We have had showings. Even in the slowest months of Dec-Feb, we rarely went 2 weeks without showings. We have had several people seriously like it, especially in the last few weeks. Last week, we had a couple come who LOVED it. JH(our realtor) showed it to them, and said she would be very surprised if they didn't make an offer. They were expecting a baby boy, his parents live 2 minutes from here.... they had all the "buyer talk" during the showing. They were renting, so no contingencies... Perfect buyers. Except they called JH a few days later and said they decided to wait a year to buy. I'm not sure why because honestly, the market is so slow that this is a perfect time to get a great deal. Maybe they need to save more money. I don't know. But they didn't buy.
Then a lady came on Thursday. She came back on Saturday morning with her husband. That night, JH called to tell us that the agent called her and was asking tons of questions and that they were going to write an offer. She said it was a good offer (close to or at asking price) and they wanted to close in 30 or 45 days. Her words were "they LOVED the house, would be devastated to possibly lose it, etc etc." She kept asking if we had any other written offers right now, they didn't want to take a chance on losing it. They wanted to "sleep on it" but expected to fax the offer within the next few days. So this morning, I woke up with the anticipation that today or tomorrow would be the day, FINALLY, that we could start moving forward with our own plans. Even talked to JH this morning (because we had yet another showing this morning) and she still sounded optimistic. I got home after driving around to waste time for the showing today (totally different potential buyers), and had an email. It said they "decided not to move forward" with buying the property. WHAT?????? How can you flip-flop that hard in 36 hours? They already had done their lender pre-approval thing, so it wasn't an issue of money/lending.
Now, this week we've had 5 showings in 7 days. Which is awesome. JH says that when a house does not sell, it is usually an issue of not getting enough viewings/showings or the price. It all boils down to one or both of those issues. We obviously have had plenty of showings. We have, therefore, lowered our price. But we've lowered it 35 thousand dollars. In considering the value of our house and the price range it's in, 35K is a lot!! We're not talking about a 500K house that has been lowered 35K..... our house is not that expensive to begin with. We have compromised a lot in that area. Truthfully, it's going to be a pinch for us to pay off all our bills, put money aside for L's adoption, and still buy a house with more room in an area where the average home is probably over half a million. And every agent that comes through says that price isn't the reason it hasn't sold, they think it's priced right. People think it's incredibly charming. Agents say it shows well. The most common reason people don't buy it is because it's too small. Yep, the reason we're selling. Nothing we can do about it. If we could make the house bigger, we might be staying here. We can't add on because of where the septic field is, and the easement for the road around us.
I'm just so beyond frustrated. We made the decision to sell last Valentine's Day. So it's been over a year since we made the decision and started thinking and dreaming about our next home. I feel stuck. It's just the making a decision to move forward with something, and perusing the listings over the last 10 months, looking at possibilities for our family, and being able to do nothing until our house sells. We've seen several things we liked sell while we were waiting. I don't hate our current home. It's home. It's just being stuck in limbo. Ready to move on..... you know?
And secretly, I have been praying the last few weeks. I had heard about the power of praying specifically. So on Valentine's Day came, a year after making the decision to sell before we added another little one to our family, I prayed we would have a contract by March 5. Silly, childish, maybe, I don't know. Today is March 5. After this weekend's hopeful possibility, I was smiling at God's faithfullness, and His goodness in answering me.... just in time. Now, I still praise Him. He is still good. He is still faithful. But I am disappointed. I am sad. i am frustrated. Again.
I also would be remiss not to mention a house that is in the target location we'd like to stay in that would seriously be our dream house. It is bigger than we hoped for in our price range. It has a basement. It has 5 acres. It has a mudroom and laundry room that is incredible. It has seriously challenged bathrooms and kitchen, so that needs to be redone, and lots of other maintenance issues that make it almost in our price range. If this house were fixed up it would be way out of our price range, but because it needs some work, it is just slightly out of our price range. It's a bank repossession. I don't know that we'd get it, and they'd sell it at our price but it's hopeful. We're reasonably handy, my dad is a pro, we could make it awesome. I was awake last night dreaming of the possibilites. When the contract possibility fell through, I admit this house is part of the reason I'm so disappointed.
Between this and our long adoption wait, I know He's trying to teach me patience.
I am also aware that I'm spending too much time thinking about it. Being at home sometimes gives me too much time to think about it. And the Chinese adoption. Hence, my need to blog some of this out.
Oh, and one more disclaimer: About JH, our realtor-- Its seems logical to point the finger in her direction. But I do believe she's done the best she can in this market. She's done some creative things, she has had numerous open houses. She maybe could have spent a little more money on advertising, in my opinion, but she has done some of that too. And with the amount of showings we've had, I don't know if it would have helped anyway. She's frustrated too, and wants it sell so badly. She's a friend, along with our agent, and I know she's be just as thrilled as us if would sell.
Please, God, bring the right buyer to our home. And help me to be more trusting of You in this process.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Better this week,
OK, much better this week.
We had a good ending to last week, J and I got some things worked out, and things seem much brighter. I'm not so crabby.
We're going this morning to a church in Berryville to talk about our Africa experience. We were invited by our neighbors, the "K" family. It's a youth function. The kids are fasting for 3o hours for world hunger. Pretty neat, actually. I'm nervous though. I hate public speaking. Can't not give testimony to what God did in Africa though, so I immediately agreed when we were asked, but now I'm kinda dreading it. It was supposed to be at 1o AM this morning, but then they bumped us to 1 PM. More hours to get nervous. Also, that's E's nap time, and we're taking him with us so I pray he's good, quiet, and cooperative...
Jsh and L called last night with another marital dispute. Sigh.... I know it's easier sometimes to see, analyze, and fix other people's problems, but they just seem so set on arguing, proving who's right, and just seem to not have much grace or love with each other. I know we're like that sometimes too, but it just seems like they're really struggling. Of course, if we take a snapshot of any family at a particular time, we can see all kinds of bad things. I do feel like J and I are able to help them though and that feels good. Even if we've had a bad week (like last week) it puts us back on the same team, and refocuses us on the right things too. I have a hard time sometimes in disputes with seeing both sides.... so much so that it's hard for me to mediate, and give advice. But for some reason, God really is speaking through sometimes when I'm talking with L. I feel his presence, and his wisdom coming out of my mouth. I don't say that arrogantly at all, because it's not me.
Anyway, nice to think about something else than the talk we've got to do in a few hours.
We had a good ending to last week, J and I got some things worked out, and things seem much brighter. I'm not so crabby.
We're going this morning to a church in Berryville to talk about our Africa experience. We were invited by our neighbors, the "K" family. It's a youth function. The kids are fasting for 3o hours for world hunger. Pretty neat, actually. I'm nervous though. I hate public speaking. Can't not give testimony to what God did in Africa though, so I immediately agreed when we were asked, but now I'm kinda dreading it. It was supposed to be at 1o AM this morning, but then they bumped us to 1 PM. More hours to get nervous. Also, that's E's nap time, and we're taking him with us so I pray he's good, quiet, and cooperative...
Jsh and L called last night with another marital dispute. Sigh.... I know it's easier sometimes to see, analyze, and fix other people's problems, but they just seem so set on arguing, proving who's right, and just seem to not have much grace or love with each other. I know we're like that sometimes too, but it just seems like they're really struggling. Of course, if we take a snapshot of any family at a particular time, we can see all kinds of bad things. I do feel like J and I are able to help them though and that feels good. Even if we've had a bad week (like last week) it puts us back on the same team, and refocuses us on the right things too. I have a hard time sometimes in disputes with seeing both sides.... so much so that it's hard for me to mediate, and give advice. But for some reason, God really is speaking through sometimes when I'm talking with L. I feel his presence, and his wisdom coming out of my mouth. I don't say that arrogantly at all, because it's not me.
Anyway, nice to think about something else than the talk we've got to do in a few hours.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Five months and crabby
So we're five months into this very, very, very long wait.
I find myself really cranky the last few weeks, especially with my hubby. Is it related to this interminable wait? Or am I just dwelling on self---- talking it out on him? Whatever it is, I wish I would snap out of it. Cause I don't like myself when I'm like this.
This week was Valentine's Day. On Wed (V-day) we had a steak dinner planned at home. Right as we were about to eat our friends, D and J, called to see if they could come over to heat their dinner and bathe the kids. Their power had gone out because of the snow and ice we also got this week. Oops, forgot to mention that. We got snow and ice this week. No school Wed-Friday, still out there. Temps aren't getting above freezing this entire week. Brr.....
But I digress. Anyway, we didn't exactly have a romantic dinner with all the kids and unexpected company. Therein my point of crabbiness on this particular day. By the next day, I realized how self-centered my attitude was and hated that I felt that way the night before. On Thursday, Feb 15, we went to dinner leaving E with L and K, and their son R. It was a nice dinner, and for the first time this week, we actually had a nice conversation. (My fault, not his)
Anyway, feeling better. I need to follow the philosophy that feelings and actions begin with thoughts. If I choose to think good things about my life, good things about my husband.... therein my emotions will follow. I hate that sometimes I focus on the negative.
I will not allow myself to be cranky again (or for a good long while). It makes me and everyone around me miserable.
Disclaimer: I read over this and it sounds probably worse than it is. :) I haven't thrown anything, yelled, or had any major explosions. I have been short, snippy, and inwardly had a bad, bad attitude. Not pleasant to live with. You know. Woman drama.
I find myself really cranky the last few weeks, especially with my hubby. Is it related to this interminable wait? Or am I just dwelling on self---- talking it out on him? Whatever it is, I wish I would snap out of it. Cause I don't like myself when I'm like this.
This week was Valentine's Day. On Wed (V-day) we had a steak dinner planned at home. Right as we were about to eat our friends, D and J, called to see if they could come over to heat their dinner and bathe the kids. Their power had gone out because of the snow and ice we also got this week. Oops, forgot to mention that. We got snow and ice this week. No school Wed-Friday, still out there. Temps aren't getting above freezing this entire week. Brr.....
But I digress. Anyway, we didn't exactly have a romantic dinner with all the kids and unexpected company. Therein my point of crabbiness on this particular day. By the next day, I realized how self-centered my attitude was and hated that I felt that way the night before. On Thursday, Feb 15, we went to dinner leaving E with L and K, and their son R. It was a nice dinner, and for the first time this week, we actually had a nice conversation. (My fault, not his)
Anyway, feeling better. I need to follow the philosophy that feelings and actions begin with thoughts. If I choose to think good things about my life, good things about my husband.... therein my emotions will follow. I hate that sometimes I focus on the negative.
I will not allow myself to be cranky again (or for a good long while). It makes me and everyone around me miserable.
Disclaimer: I read over this and it sounds probably worse than it is. :) I haven't thrown anything, yelled, or had any major explosions. I have been short, snippy, and inwardly had a bad, bad attitude. Not pleasant to live with. You know. Woman drama.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Random Thoughts
So last night, I was lying awake, thinking about this upcoming adoption.
I find myself reading travel journals, rumor queen, anything about Chinese adoption. And we're so stinkin' far away from that date. We were just LID on 9/13/06 and right now things are pointing to a two year wait. We're only 4 months in. I wonder how I'll feel a year and a half from now and we may not have any news of L yet. Yuck. I'm anxious. Kinda like a bride planning her wedding. You know.... you want it to happen. You can't wait for it to happen. But.... you know that once that magical moment is over, it's over. But with a wedding, you get the joy of being with the one you love, and I know after our trip to China, we're going to have our baby girl to love. All that is good. But I am excited for our trip and to have a daughter. I also know that there's something magical about the anticipation. I need to enjoy this time with Little Man.
Truthfully too, I'm nervous about it. Little Man is a pretty easy little guy. I'm not one of those overly stressed mom of a preschooler, because truthfully, he is a joy. And pretty easy. So what about attachment? Adopting an older baby? From another country on a different time zone? What is she is "high maintenance?" What if she's a terrible sleeper? How to balance two little ones? How will Little Man do with a sibling since he is kinda the center of the universe now as the only child in our house? Can I love another one as much as I love him? (Yes, I know every mom seems to question that as they add a child to their family, and they always do) So I'm worried and don't want it to happen too soon. I'm not ready. I also want our referral tomorrow.
I am Mrs Contradiction.
OK, enough whining. CCAA, hurry up. Give me my referral. Quckly. But not too soon.
I find myself reading travel journals, rumor queen, anything about Chinese adoption. And we're so stinkin' far away from that date. We were just LID on 9/13/06 and right now things are pointing to a two year wait. We're only 4 months in. I wonder how I'll feel a year and a half from now and we may not have any news of L yet. Yuck. I'm anxious. Kinda like a bride planning her wedding. You know.... you want it to happen. You can't wait for it to happen. But.... you know that once that magical moment is over, it's over. But with a wedding, you get the joy of being with the one you love, and I know after our trip to China, we're going to have our baby girl to love. All that is good. But I am excited for our trip and to have a daughter. I also know that there's something magical about the anticipation. I need to enjoy this time with Little Man.
Truthfully too, I'm nervous about it. Little Man is a pretty easy little guy. I'm not one of those overly stressed mom of a preschooler, because truthfully, he is a joy. And pretty easy. So what about attachment? Adopting an older baby? From another country on a different time zone? What is she is "high maintenance?" What if she's a terrible sleeper? How to balance two little ones? How will Little Man do with a sibling since he is kinda the center of the universe now as the only child in our house? Can I love another one as much as I love him? (Yes, I know every mom seems to question that as they add a child to their family, and they always do) So I'm worried and don't want it to happen too soon. I'm not ready. I also want our referral tomorrow.
I am Mrs Contradiction.
OK, enough whining. CCAA, hurry up. Give me my referral. Quckly. But not too soon.
Welcome
We have another journal created for family and friends to post pictures and big family and adoption updates. But it just seemed like I wanted a place to post the more mundane things of our family life. A place to keep a record of sort. When you're an adoptive mama, you sometimes don't even remember what you were doing on the day of your baby's birth. I know what we were doing with Little Man because it was a memorable day because of us leaving on a big trip, totally unaware two hours away, our lives had changed forever. So since we have no idea when L will be born, (our baby girl from China) I just want to journal a little about our lives now. Maybe the days will line up, and we'll see that "red thread".
So there's the purpose of this blog. I love to read blogs.. don't know if I can live up to some of my favorite writers, but it doesn't matter, I don't guess since this is for me.
So there's the purpose of this blog. I love to read blogs.. don't know if I can live up to some of my favorite writers, but it doesn't matter, I don't guess since this is for me.
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